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Self Sabotage

Updated: Nov 29, 2023


Self-Sabotage can paralyse us and keep us from reaching our goals, desires and dreams. Self-sabotage can be a hard habit to break, it has a strong spiritual side which is rarely spoken about.

What is Self – Sabotage

From a psychology and personal development here is a definition of self-sabotage. Any behaviours or thoughts that hold you back from achieving your goals, desires or dreams.

So many people get stuck in self-sabotage, because what they don’t realise is that there is a deep spiritual component to it, it’s not until you understand what the spiritual component is, then you’ll be able to heal the self-sabotage within you, this healing is done on a mind, body, and soul level.

Another definition is weakness in your energy field that prevents you from creating change in your outside world. The energy weakness I’m talking about is two parts of your energy field which creates the weakness, so what is happening is the weaker our energy field is the harder it is to act on the outside world, so the weaker our energy field is the more we self-sabotage, we need to focus on the root cause issue and not just on the mind. Self-sabotage is going to become harder and harder as we move forward in this new age of Aquarius, here are the two parts of the new Age of Aquarius

The new age of Aquarius is more accelerated and is higher in vibration, where self-sabotage from an energy perspective means stagnation which creates a lot of pain in our lives also feelings of being stuck.

Now imagine that I got hold of you and pushed you into the middle of a fast flowing, strong current river, the current is so strong that you panic. So let’s say first you panic and your first thought is you’re going to grab onto some rocks or branches and your now hanging on for dear life, so if you’re going to do that what will happen next ? well your either going to rip your arms off because the current is so strong or you’ll quickly become exhausted and you’ll drown, so if your caught in this fast flowing river, what you have to do is point your feet down and cross your arms and float down and allow the current to take you.

This scenario is exactly what is happening with the new Age of Aquarius, so what’s happening is the energy is like the river fast flowing, and the self-sabotage is like you trying to grab hold of the rocks or branches, it’s going to exhaust you, so you have to learn to overcome self-sabotage quickly so that we can get your life back on track, so we don’t cause a lot of chaos, pain and conflict within our lives.

The spiritual reasons why we self-sabotage

Self-sabotage can seem counter intuitive so why would I keep myself away from the things that I want?

So there’s important reasons why we do this, there are three things involved as to why we self-sabotage.

Unhealed Wounds, Fear and weak will

1/ Unhealed Wounds

This is the most important one out of the three, this is the foundation of all three

We all have unhealed wounds from the past, wounds around unworthiness and not feeling good enough, when we attend to not feel good enough what happens is we attend to pull away from our dreams and goals, because deep inside of us we feel that we don’t deserve those goals and dreams, this is a very powerful reoccurring pattern that has been going on for some time, most of the time we don’t even realise or even recognise that we’re doing this half the time. Worthiness is a very big issue in most people’s lives, it feeds the whole sabotage stuff, the less we like ourselves the less I deserve good things and then we convince ourselves that we don’t deserve anything good and that we aren’t worthy within ourselves. The interesting thing about unworthiness is that it decreases the frequency of our energy which then becomes a negative, then our self-image decreases then our vibration also decreases, which means our energy decreases. So the more positive I look upon myself ths higher we’ll vibrate and the more energy we’ll have, the more negative we look at ourselves the lower you’ll vibrate and the weaker your energy field will be, the stronger you vibrate the stronger your energy will be.

2/ Fear

Fear is a really dense emotion, your pulling your energy field down, there are two particular types of fear that come into self-sabotage.

The first is fear of change – The fear of change is preventing you from moving into the unknown and into something new. If you have a very controlling ego and your sitting in those wounds of unworthiness then change is going to be very difficult and uncomfortable, sometimes I think it’s good to come out of your comfort zone and be uncomfortable within change, it will increase your confidence because you’ve done something that you thought you could never do. The ego loves to be comfortable and doesn’t like change, so if I allow that fear to take a grip on me then you’ll feel stuck and paralysed and will not move on within life due to fear.

Fear of loss – This type of fear has to do with the unworthiness piece of our minds because if you feel fundamentally unworthy, you’re going to prevent yourself from reaching goals because your subconscious mind is saying to you you’ll lose that goal if you reach it, or is saying to you well better to not have it than to not have it at all, rather than have it then lose it. So the fear of loss really controls the self – sabotage and the fear, the unworthiness is constantly whispering in your ear, if you reach it you’re only going to lose it anyway because you don’t deserve to have it. So that voice will keep you in that fear of loss and that is your ego part of yourself, these are the two things that keep us at bay when it comes to self-sabotage.

Weak Will

When I talk about weak will I’m not talking about you as a person, I’m talking about your will is weak and needs to be strengthened, just like boundaries which is a familiar concept, so what weak will means is there are two areas of your energy that are involved in this and what weak will is about is moving forward, your desire to make change, your desire to be your sovereignty, speaking your truth and making decisions in life so you can move forward without being impeded by anything that is called will.

The two centres in your body which are responsible for weak will are – The Solar Plexus chakra which is your third chakra just above your navel. The solar plexus is a very powerful chakra and is known as your personal power and your confidence, this is the chakra that gives you your will to do things for yourself, which makes you go out into the world and make those changes for the better.

When we self – sabotage a lot of this makes our solar plexus weak which means our self-will is weak and as soon as our solar plexus gets weak it throws our entire energy system out of whack and then our energy system starts to collapse and then that’s where the self-sabotage starts, then we become low on energy and we can’t then make the changes we need to be able to move forward.

The second one is our Throat Chakra which is our 5th chakra, a lot of people seem to think that the throat chakra is just for speaking our truth and communicating, it’s also an energy system for our higher will, you have two wills in your system, you have the lower will which is the will of personal power and this is on an individual level in this world, then there’s the higher will or (higher self/source) when we’re not connected to our higher will we then have trouble speaking our truth of power, which then means we’re not being our authentic selves, we can do affirmations to help heal these, it’s almost like a belief system that we have about ourselves and then that goes into your thoughts about yourself and that’s where then your 6th chakra of vision will be out of balance.

Part 3

How to overcome self-sabotage

So now you know a little about self-sabotage, especially from a spiritual perspective, this is the third step process which has to be followed in order.

Step one – Heal Foundational Wounds

The reason why its step one is because we have to start targeting our unworthiness and feelings of not feeling good enough, the unworthiness has to be healed first and be addressed because this is the foundation of self- sabotage.

First of all we have to become aware of self-sabotage which follows from that is our self-awareness which is very important, also we have to recognise when we are self-sabotaging, unworthiness is about self-love, this unworthiness has to be recognised as to where it is coming from.

Is it coming from child-hood behaviour?

Or is it entrenched into us from our family, brothers and sisters?

What we don’t realise is that we don’t like ourselves or we don’t think we are deserving of good within our lives, that ego voice in our subconscious mind is so entrenched into us that half the time we don’t hear it or we think it’s normal to be like this.

The first thing we’ll be doing is when we start to recognise those thoughts of self-sabotage is journaling them down and getting them out of your head and onto paper, that way you’re not carrying those thoughts around with you. Secondly ask yourself some questions such as –

Why do I feel like I’m not good enough?

Where does this unworthiness come from?

When did I start to feel unworthy?

Does this come from child-hood?

Take some time to answer these questions and journal the answers, you’ll find there will be more questions coming up once you start this process, write down all of the in-depth details that you can think of and please take your time doing this, bring the self-awareness up to the surface and once you’ve finished then comes the big question that you’re going to end this exercise with

What would I look like if I felt worthy?

What my life look like without self-sabotage?

How would I feel if I didn’t have self-sabotage?

What I’m doing is getting your mind to think as if you already are worthy, it’s a technique that will help you to start changing your way of thinking and how you see yourself and how to be in the present moment.

It’s about changing your mindset and changing your vibration, if you act like you are worthy and manifest it then it will start to happen, it’s called law of attraction and when we access the law of attraction we then start to have almost what we want. It’s also changing your belief system to believing and acting like you are worthy

I am beautiful

I am worthy

I am happy

I can change my mindset

Instead of saying "I can’t" change that to "I can" and believe it, because you are and instead of saying “I’m useless” or “I’m not good enough” start saying “I am useful” and I am good enough” start speaking your truth to you in the mirror.

Stop looking at others and saying “I want that” or “why can’t I have that” instead look at others and say “I’m so happy for what you have” or “I can have that too” again it’s all about changing your mindset and vibration to match the law of attraction’s vibration, always remember negative thoughts breed negativity into your life, positive thoughts will bring you more positivity and will help bring you into alignment with what you want, the universe is always saying yes but if you’re not in alignment then you won’t have what you want, it’s the same when we are healing ourselves, it’s about quieting down your mind and focusing on what you have and it’s about erasing those negative thoughts and replacing with positive thoughts.

Journaling is a great way to get your thoughts out on paper, ask yourself this

How would I feel if I had what I wanted?

What would I be doing if I didn’t self-sabotage?


When we learn to work with fear and heal self-sabotage we then learn to lean into fear as scary as it sounds because we never like to work with fear and in fact fear makes you recoil because that’s what we are programmed to do and the reason is because our brain has been programmed to do that, which the problem we have now is that our brain sees that fear as danger, hence why we recoil from fear, so we intend to live very safe lives and what happens is that fear is used inappropriately. We have to re-train our brains to lean into fear instead of recoiling from it, so if we learn to lean into fear our brain will then do the opposite which is embrace that fear, and our brain will see the fear as no danger, then our brain will get used to the fear and stop sounding the alarm bells.

This takes practice and you can do this, just don’t allow fear to control your thoughts, take very small steps at a time and don’t rush into this, because then the fear becomes less and less and this is because we are leaning into fear more and more and the fear becomes smaller and this is why it’s important to sit with fear and not distract from it. It helps to feel it and understand where it’s coming from so then you can move through it quicker.

3/ Develop your will – means to strengthen your solar plexus and throat chakra within your energy centre

Developing your personal power and will, the solar plexus is different from the other chakras, because this chakra responds to practice and it’s like a muscle so you need to train that muscle with action, it’s a very masculine energy type of chakra which means action is required to activate this chakra, action means doing.

Throat Chakra

Chanting works well (I know some people will feel uncomfortable with this but I guess that’s good) because it raises your vibration and it’s good because your vibrating the throat chakra, there are a lot of different types of chanting, including Buddha chanting or OM chanting, you can also use the BIJA mantra which is used in Hinduism all the chakras have a sound element to them, the throat chakra has the sound HAM pronounced HUM it’s the BIJA of the throat chakra, you can look it up on you tube and use headphones and repeat the chanting or sit without any music and take a deep breath and use them.

Neck Movements – The trapezius muscle which is at the back of your neck and goes down your shoulder blades and half way down your back and when this muscle tightens it affects your throat chakra and messes up the alignment of the chakra, you can use neck stretches which are on you tube or neck rolls or a self-massage by crossing over your arms and gently massage your Trapezius muscle. The other tip is to use affirmations to open up your higher will

Such as “I embody the will of my soul”

So when you have learnt to overcome fear and work with your higher will and strengthen your Solar Plexus and are worthy of yourself the self-sabotage will stop within your life.


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